There vs. Here

Yet again I have been criticized for not being outspoken.

It’s tough. It is. You can’t just break down a wall that took years to build. It has provided me a comfort bubble, the only space where I feel safe. Here, I push the people out and keep the secrets in.

I hated mingling work with personal life, but I finally came to realize that you can’t really separate the two. It becomes problematic when your personality is a hindrance to work productivity.

I was exalted by my ¨courage¨ to pack my back and travel solo into the unknown and walk up to a famous stranger to introduce myself, but this fact has worked against me because I was scrutinized for not bringing this kind of bravery into the workplace.

Well, shit.

When I was by myself in Spain, I was a nobody. I did not have to worry about who I was or where I was from. There was no burden to ¨represent¨ something. Ok, I was not a ¨nobody¨, I was ¨myself¨.

With passion as my only guide, I acted on my own terms. I did not know if there were judging eyes neither did I care. It was liberating.

I’m looking forward to having that feeling again and can’t wait to leave this pit of a dumpster.

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