Yet again I have been criticized for not being outspoken.
It’s tough. It is. You can’t just break down a wall that took years to build. It has provided me a comfort bubble, the only space where I feel safe. Here, I push the people out and keep the secrets in.
I hated mingling work with personal life, but I finally came to realize that you can’t really separate the two. It becomes problematic when your personality is a hindrance to work productivity.
I was exalted by my ¨courage¨ to pack my back and travel solo into the unknown and walk up to a famous stranger to introduce myself, but this fact has worked against me because I was scrutinized for not bringing this kind of bravery into the workplace.
When I was by myself in Spain, I was a nobody. I did not have to worry about who I was or where I was from. There was no burden to ¨represent¨ something. Ok, I was not a ¨nobody¨, I was ¨myself¨.
With passion as my only guide, I acted on my own terms. I did not know if there were judging eyes neither did I care. It was liberating.
I’m looking forward to having that feeling again and can’t wait to leave this pit of a dumpster.