“This is your week!”
“Yes. YOUR week”
“Why, because I’m leaving? Ok.”
That was the profound conversation I had with an elderly lady at work today. She later asked me what happened to my enthusiasm for my study abroad/vacation in Spain. The truth is, I’m not really sure either.
I proceeded to explain to her that I can’t wrap my head around it and realize that it is almost time for me to leave. My answer puzzled her, and she proceeded to calling me crazy.
If there’s any potion that could turn me into something like “Oooo, travelling. Good. Happy”, I might order a dose or two.
My twisted little mind is taking me on an eventful rollercoaster of emotions.
But before I continue, never let it be confused that I do not want to leave. Because, trust me…..
I WANT TO LEAVE SO MUCH, IT’S DRIVING ME INSANE.
Without regret, I will admit that I take the meaning of “desperation” to a new level.
This trip is all I dream/think/plan/care/talk about… So why do I feel “down” all of sudden, especially when the date of departure is a little over a week away.
Well, I’m here to find out.
I have been plotting–um–planning a trip to Spain since my early years in high school, possibly 10th grade. Back then it was just a crazy dream. The idea was there, but not the logistics. Now that I have taken actual measures to make it happen, the dream is not just something utopian anymore. The reality presents itself with unpleasant possibilities: doubt, fear, obstacles, dangers, or just plain bad luck, you name it.
But that’s not the issue.
The issue is, after spending YEARS waiting for this dream to come true, I began to doubt if the day would ever come. I mean, after all these years, will it really be here? Really? And how? I just can’t picture it.
And the clock ticks slower and slower every hour, every minute, every second, every breath.
And the day still isn’t here.
So I lost my “enthusiasm” because I am very much tired of waiting.
Everything irritates me. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-I-n-g.
Even futbol, which had once given me such joy, does little.
Maybe it doesn’t help that World Champion Spain lost 5 to 1 to the Dutch?
I had a dream of watching La Roja play live in a overcrowded Spanish street, gazing on a giant screen with other passionate fans…. I don’t know if this is going to happen. This dream could crumble down if the Spanish couldn’t reach the next stage…Then all this would have been for nothing. The mood of the country could be heavy as h*ll.
If I hadn’t discovered MotoGP, soccer would have left me in such a devastating state of mind.
But something else happened in the world of moto-bike racing: my favorite rider, the 21-year-old 2013 World Champ Marc Marquez, crashed on the last lap of the Qualifiers… So he missed his 7th consecutive pole position and will be positioned behind Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo on the grid for tomorrow’s race.
Still, all is not lost; the most important event of the weekend is the actual race on Sunday…I am hoping for the best result. True, there is no such thing as an invincibility, but one can dream.
Apologies for the digression. I blame it on the exhaustion from work…and perhaps waking up in the wee hours to catch a certain live sporting event from Circuit of Catalunya, European time. Oh, the pain of living an ocean away.
Let’s get back to the study abroad/vacation in Spain.
Earlier this week, I received a “Final Packet” from the study abroad program that provides more information about my host family and their apartment!!!
A slap of reality it was. I’m still a little numb and don’t know what to quite make of it.
More details later. For now, I need to get some sleep and get ready for tomorrow’s race. The best of luck to Marc Marquez!