Sitting Down with Myself

Look at you.

You are sitting by yourself in your little disorderly room as your town explodes with excitement and joy. You know there is some sporting event going on and the team is triumph, ready to make history. And here you are, so indifferent.

It’s not that you don’t care about sports…Ironically, you love it more than some of those on the bandwagon. But it’s funny, isn’t it, to be stuck here – a place so perfect to catch a glimpse of the game – if only you care for this sport?

You insufferable prick.

Why do you always have to be attracted to something so faraway. You know, the oh-so-exotic-and-international ones. What’s wrong with local sports? Or should I say…what’s wrong with you?

You always love to grasp for something that is out of your reach.

Yes, some people will say that it’s just your ambition, and they will also say that aiming high and going through all sorts of pain will bring the sweetest reward. But who are these people? How do they come up with such a hasty cost-and-benefit analysis of something so intangible? And to believe that you believe “them”? You have some reevaluation to do.

And reevaluating you are.

There are a handful of things that you should rather be doing. How’s your homework coming? When was the last time you study? Are your projects done? Have you even started that report? Right, I don’t think so.

On top of that, you should be getting ready to apply for the visa. Study abroad in Spain is a dream of yours, no? One of the biggest, and if I dare add, the most costly dream of all? How much did you have to give up and away for this “dream”?

And when it’s about to become reality, you’re just sitting here, reevaluating and confused about what to do. Shouldn’t you get started filling out the applications and getting the documents ready? You have one of the most important appointments of your life in 2 days. Get to it.

Of course, it’s also time to sign up for new classes. The fall semester will be here soon, and the registration is already open. I understand that things aren’t going as planned. You have been trying to kill two birds with one stone, but the ivory tower is not having it. What’s there to do? Staying for one more semester? Oh, it must be so difficult for you – a young bird with inexperienced wings, and yet so eager to fly. There’s a big world out there, and knowing that, you must be feeling stuck in the backwoods of some small, nameless town a while longer. I know…I understand.

I understand because you are very much me, and I am none other than you.

But seriously.

Can we get going already?

I’m going to start by filling out those applications. You have to start somewhere.

 

~Brisa

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