It’s Spring Break.

Most, if not all, of my fellow college students are out of this little college town. Only a crazy person would choose to be stuck here, but here I am.

…………………………………

Apart from working, I do have some free time… I should be unusually active with the blogging, but I’m not. I have so much to tell and yet I can’t get it out and mold my feelings into words. It is suffocating.

So when I can write, I will just type away, so down with sounding intellectual and eloquent. This is me. This is me speaking with my fingers.

These are the things that I would say if there is someone to listen.

Not to belittle the loved ones around me, but I don’t think they would listen nor should they. I almost feel guilty about talking about the same subject nonstop, I mean, all I can think about right now is going abroad. But there is so much more to the story. As seen here, there are so many little steps I must take before heading over to Spain. I can’t just keep telling them about all of the little updates that are so meaningful to me. How could they understand how exciting it is to run into a tourism website for a town that is in the middle of nowhere? How could they understand how ecstatic I was to finally find quite a few accommodations in this town that is not even listed on famous travelling sites? (See “HOLY SH!T“, “Catalan Communication“, and “An Update with A Nameless Title“, for example)  No, it isn’t fair for them to keep listening to these little details neither is it fair for me to share something so significant for me that will mean nothing to them.

That is why I’m here, pouring my heart out. And that is why WordPress is probably my most favorite social media site right now.

I only told a couple of people I know personally that I have a blog, but jeez, they have their lives to live and by no means are expected to read my every word. The only expected audience is myself, of course.

Now, my other social media sites are full of loads of crap. I only have one hundred-something “friends” on the popular social media site, which is nothing at all compared to some of the other college students. One thousand “friends” seem to be the norm.

Maybe it’s just my cycle of friends, but it seems that no one really update their statuses as much anymore. Most of the notifications I see are from the pages that I like, which, of course, are about soccer, soccer, soccer, and more soccer. MotoGP does pop up relatively frequently, too, but that’s about it. And let’s not get started about the other birdy site… (However, I do get more satisfaction out of this site than the first one… for I love keeping up with the one and only Marc Marquez, as well as some of my other favorite athletes).

But since it is Spring Break, everyone is starting to post pictures of their vacations. By all means, even though I am stuck here working part-time, I am not jealous of all. It’s great that they are having fun…but who cares, really?

And then I start to question myself: if I don’t care about these people, why do I even use “social” media? Do these people care about me,too, then? Nah, probably not.

So which is why that I am determined not to post my study abroad photos on such social media site, despite receiving a few requests to do so. They make it seem like it is such an obligation, but it is something that they don’t really care about.

Of course, I share things on the site, personal things, but I am beginning to realize that is pure gloating and showing off. So I might as well stop.

But here, I actually share in a meaningful way. I have a chance to reflect and disconnect from the superficial world, and learning to think deeper and pay more attention to the details, especially my feelings. It feels good to be on here; I need to be here more often – just to truly be with myself.

Meanwhile, I am looking into Tumblr to store the photos that I plan to take abraod… but I still have to do some more research. I want to keep a gallery for each city that I will visit separately; I don’t know if it would let me do that… Maybe I might utilize WordPress instead, despite my commitment to remain completely anonymous. I think it is easier to share that way, because you are bound to being defined by your identity, your past, or your surroundings. I suppose all that I want to say is: thank you, WordPress.

 

~Brisa

 

 

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