When you are at your most vulnerable, you start to look around and grab whatever you can hang onto. You open your eyes and see nothing but darkness and feel nothing but emptiness. And you begin to see in the darkness that there is no one. Not even one of the ones that you have loved and trusted with your life is there in your sight. Only then, you would start desperately screaming for help, even you know that that help will never come. Only then you will realize that the only reliable one is yourself. This realization would be soul-wrenching cold that it makes you turn numb, and you would begin to be indifferent to the outside world. It doesn’t matter. By then, you won’t feel anything. By then, you would only grow to love yourself like never before. By then, the only thing that matters to you is yourself.

I’m in a literature-y mode. I wrote that after listening to some of my typical favorite pop-rock songs that just scream depressing and desperate. These songs accompany clips of a movie that I love the most, Tres metros sobre el cielo. At the end, you can hear the quote by the main character, saying that things only happen once. I don’t know why, but I feel really inspired by that and the issues that the main character have to deal with…Or it could be very much the same issues that I have to deal with I cannot really say.

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