Nothing New, At Least for Awhile

Now that I’m accepted into the program, there won’t be any “new” announcement for awhile. I just have to turn in a ton of paperwork, and I haven’t started to even glance at the list.

I don’t know how I’ve managed to waste weekends after weekends doing nothing productive. It seems like I’d get more things done during the week. I should really, really get started on my papers. I think I’ll finish at least one tonight.

College life is getting through all this cramming, just so you can get into another one, and another one, and another one. Sometimes I wonder if I would ever get a break. But then again, I am that nutcase who decided to take three classes in a 6-week summer term. A nutcase.

There’s no one to blame but myself. I’m the one who decided to take on this classes. I guess many people would rather take a break. Sometimes I agree. However, once Fall semester started, I feel that even if I took a break, I would feel just as exhausted. Breaks are overrated. Sometimes I get just as bored and tired while I’m on the breaks too. Might as well persevere through the summer and get some credits in.

You know, cheers to graduating early.

Maybe once I’m able to be where I choose to be and let myself be who I really am, I will be happier, less tired, and less bored.

I was trying to keep the blog less personal – less about what’s going on in my life and more about the journey of studying abroad, but I realized that these two things are more or less the same. I hate pouring my problems out to someone, I feel guilty that they have to suffer hearing them. Everybody, regardless of their wealth and status, has something that he or she isn’t satisfied with. Everyone has at least one problem. I can’t bare to have the people around me taking in my problems. I used to expect them to be considerate enough to do the same about keep their problems to themselves. Nonetheless, when they discuss their problems with me, I listen; and I would expect them to do the same. But I’ve gone through enough, I’m done expecting so much of people after too many have disappointed me. I’ve learn enough to finally know that the only one I can believe in is myself. I have always set the standards so high and I shouldn’t blame that others can’t meet them. I am old enough to finally realize that it is better when you don’t set standards and expectations; that way, you won’t be disappointed when someone or something goes wrong and you will feel pleasantly surprised that things work out well in the end.

What’s annoying is that even though I’m done expecting too much out of people, I still listen to their problems. I am just too polite sometimes, and other times, although I hate to admit it, I genuinely care about them. It sucks that the level of care is never mutual. I need a twin.

Blah, blah, blah, enough with the complaining.

Real Madrid training starts tomorrow. Can’t wait to read the news. I suppose football is the only thing that is always “new” in my life right now; that is probably why it’s the only thing that can make me happy when everyone and everything else fails to do so. I just can’t get enough of it.

~Brisa 

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